Shoulder Arthrogram
I had this procedure occur on the 19th and am anxiously awaiting results. The results will be either a) yeah, your shoulder is really screwed up and we’re going to need to slice it open and fix it or b) you just need to build more muscle and live in fear that you might re-injure yourself. They both sound crappy to me, but they both have a good side, too. Either way, I am excited to find out and move on.
I arrived at the radiology department and they had me fill out a questionnaire to determine that I wasn’t going to kill myself by going into a ginormous magnet machine. After I reassured them that I didn’t have a pacemaker, metal in my eyes or anywhere else and that I wasn’t pregnant, they led me back to the changing room to get a gown on.
A very nice nurse explained my consent form, (please know that if something really bad happens, you can’t sue us) and I signed and changed into the standard issue hospital gown. Luckily, they allow you to keep your pants on, so it wasn’t too degrading.
Next I went into a room with the fluroscope. This is a sort of continuous x-ray machine that allows the technician to see the joint clearly so that they can put the ginormous needle in just the right spot. I must have looked quite terrified because the nurse asked me if I was really nervous and I managed to peep out a “yes” and she said that she would stroke my hair for me. Isn’t that the nicest thing?!? It seemed so wonderfully motherly and it was so wonderful to have that. It definitely helped me calm down. The funny thing is, all they had to tell me was that a ton of lidocaine is involved in this procedure.
Once they got my shoulder in proper alignment with the scope, they sterilized the area that would be poked and then she put the lidocaine in. This was great! I had braced myself for burning and pain, but it didn’t hurt in the least. Next, she mixed up a cocktail of dye and more lidocaine for the big needle and waited for the first dose to work well so that I wouldn’t feel anything. (Thank you!!!) I watched the scope as the needle was inserted in just the right spot and that was kind of cool. The worst discomfort I experienced during this whole procedure was my hand falling asleep because of the weight they had placed on it to keep my arm still.
I was then led to the MRI room. I consider myself to be mildly claustrophobic, so I wasn’t looking forward to my time in the “tube of death” as I like to call it. The tech was very nice and explained everything which helped put me at ease a little. He strapped my arm down next to my side to make certain it would be still during the MRI. This made me feel mildly panicky, but I just decided to breathe and get through it. He placed some ear protection on my head, because the machine is quite loud.
I had heard to keep my eyes closed during the procedure because it would make it so I couldn’t see how dangerously close my surroundings were. (As I type this, my heart rate is actually accelerating.) So, I closed them tightly and felt my body begin to move towards the tube. The sides pushed my arms in snugly toward me and I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter. I kept mentally reminding myself that I wouldn’t die and that if I were in danger, the tech would rescue me.
Thankfully he spoke, through an intercom, asking me if I could hear him and whether or not I was ok. I managed to squeak out a “yeah I can hear you and yeah, sort of”. He said that he could hear me too and that we would begin the first scan which would only take a couple of minutes, and then the scans would take 10 minutes each, for 40 minutes total or so.
WHAT?!?!?! I am going to be in the *#)$(#@*!&@#O tube of death for close to 45 minutes!?!?!?!?
BREATHE!!!!!
The first scan began and it was quite loud and I was thankful for the ear protection. I decided that I would just get through each scan and breathe when I felt panicky.
I won’t lie. There were moments during this experience when I wanted to FLIP OUT and scream and make them take me out. The other terrible thing is that you must not move and you really can’t, so of course, that is when your body decides that it is going to itch in various places to make you crazy. I tried to envision my deep breaths flowing to the part that itched and relieving it. It actually really helped. (Thank you limited experience with yoga.) I also tried to think of others, rather than focusing on my own misery. I prayed for my dad (who is having open heart surgery tomorrow) and for my friend Kerry (who gave birth to her twin boys on the 16th 10 weeks early) and for my husband and children. I also tried to conjure up hymns and sang them in my head. I also tried to make some sort of music in my head from the buzzing and such that the machine made. It had a strange frequency and almost a beat. I would definitely classify it as techno.
Finally, the blessed words came out of his mouth that we were finished and the table slid me out of the tube (of near death.) I was sooooo relieved! I told the tech that it wasn’t that horrible, and he said that I didn’t need to lie about it, that most people want to punch him. That totally made me laugh.
The 3 days following this procedure were difficult. Remember the ginormous needle? Um, yeah. Once all of that lidocaine wore off, I was left with some really terrible pain. I had been warned in the instruction sheet that I would feel discomfort, but why don’t they just tell it straight. You won’t be able to lift your own arm without yelping out in pain, much less attempt to care for your overly huge 10 month old who weighs close to 24 lbs. The thing that wasn’t mentioned anywhere on the sheet was the extreme joint popping and instability. That felt really terrible and scary.
I am in almost no pain today, it only hurts when I carry the aforementioned huge baby. Now the only painful thing left is the waiting.
