Posted by beth on February 21, 2010
I’m ever learning the practice of taking each day as it comes and making the most of it or accepting it for what it is. I honestly believe that when we are unable to do that, we end up depressed, anxious or at the very least, consistently disappointed.
In the beginning of last week, I was really motivated to get more exercise in and really refine my diet to include less processed food and more fruits and veggies. I did exactly that for 3 days. The fourth day, so sore from working out that I found it difficult to sit, I decided to take a day off. Friday found me unable to breathe normally with some sort of upper respiratory affliction that still resides with me today, and is still making working out a near impossibility.
At first, I felt as if I had failed. I was ANGRY with the hand life had dealt me. And, I admit, I am still a little peeved. I turned to food to comfort me. But, I realized the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Even taking 4 days off of working out, to care for an ailing body, is not the end of my quest to lose weight and be healthy. And, now, more than ever I need to nourish my body with foods that will nurse me back to health.
I’m learning. Maybe God allowed this illness as a call to slow down and practice more moderation. I don’t know, but I sure plan to be sure to listen and hopefully learn whatever it is He is whispering in my ear.
Posted by beth on February 10, 2010
Time for a resolution check up!
The financial resolution is shaping up nicely. However, I am not thinking we’ll have our debt paid down by a third. We instead have changed our perspective a little, and are simultaneously working on building up our savings, to the tune of $5000 in 2 years from March, and also contributing to a 401K and purchasing additional life insurance. Although our debt situation is dire, we felt it best to take some preventative measures to keep it from getting worse. We’ll still pay off everything but our mortgage in four years, and live comfortably while doing all of the other stuff. So, all in all, we’re doing fabulous on this front.
The housework is getting more and more satisfying as time goes on. I love waking up to a relatively clutter free space in our bedroom and usually a clean kitchen in the morning. The extra effort is also helping me keep my calorie burn goals in line, too! I still am working on being continuously mindful of picking up something to take and put away EVERY TIME I get up and move to another room. I can’t tell you what a huge difference this makes in keeping your home clean and organized. Areas I still need to see vast improvement in are the garage, my car and the office. Laundry will always plague me, but I feel like I am more on top of it than I’ve ever been, so that’s a victory.
On the fitness and health front, I am doing so much better than before. I am making it to the gym 90% more than I was, and we’re eating healthful meals at home at least 75% more than we were. I love how all things work together in this manner. The less we eat out, the better it is for our health and our finances! As a result, I feel better, have more energy and am sleeping better without as much need for a sleep aid.
Now for the “bad” news. The bible study still sits on the shelf. I have had a hard time wanting to open myself up to it. I don’t know if I am afraid of what God might want to tell me, or if I just am being selfish and unrepentant. (Most likely a mixture of both.) I have been praying more often on the fly, so I do feel I have made some positive gains in this area, but know that ultimately I need to surrender my heart and my time to Him.
Posted by beth on
February is always such a tough month for me, mentally. I just want to be DONE with winter and feel the warmth of spring air on my face and see the renewal of life that a new season brings. I know that February is the shortest month, but it never really feels like it.
February also brings Valentine’s Day, which I abhor. I mean, the sentiment is nice, but it just seems like it adds such a cheapness to something as complicated, wondrous and crazy as love is. (Not to mention I have to coerce my son to fill out those cheap little boxed up cards for his classmates and provide 2 dozen cupcakes for a party to commemorate the blessed event.) I feel like Valentine’s day tries to pretty up love and make it all hearts and roses and pinkness and chocolate and love is rarely any of those things. Love is giving up a dream to change diapers and clean up snot and puke. Love is forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Love is choosing to hold your tongue even though it would temporarily feel oh-so-good to let the ugly truth out. Love is Jesus bearing the most unimaginable pain and suffering for those that hardly think of Him and even mock His name.
So, I’m tolerating you February, and really looking forward to March.
Posted by beth on January 19, 2010
Matt and I met with a financial planner representative from Primerica. He is going to provide us with some really good information about how to pay off our debt in the best order to get out of debt quickly and paying the least amount of interest. He’s also going to help us formulate a plan to start saving for our retirement and make sure we have a sound financial foundation.
I feel like this is a REALLY good step in the right direction to achieving our goal of reducing our debt by 1/3 this year.
We also have been much more cognizant of our spending habits and we have been spending so much less than we normally would on eating out and unnecessary purchases.
Good news!!
Posted by beth on January 18, 2010
I feel like I’m making some good progress on my resolutions! The fact that I’m even saying that is an awesome change in the way I think about things. In the past, if I hadn’t done everything to the letter, I would have called myself a failure, given up, and moved on.
One of my resolutions was that I wanted to create more of a haven in my home by creating more organization, cleanliness and coziness. I am doing MUCH better at that than I ever have in the past. I find a real sense of peace in working on keeping the dishes done and making the bed in the morning and working on keeping the every day clutter to a minimum by being conscious of my surroundings and picking up things and putting them away as I go along.
Along with the cleaning comes more activity. I feel better at night having gotten in an honest day’s work. I also have a plan to return to the gym. That was harder to come by than I had hoped. I want to go but not feel like I’m doing it to escape my family duties. So, I think I’ve found a workable compromise for now, to be implemented next week.
Quiet time is the final thing I’m struggling with. I did find a study to work on that I am excited about (more on that in the future) and so now comes the hard part of disciplining myself to actually do it. So, I’m thinking that I’ll try to do it during Lily’s nap time. I’ve always treated that time as sacred relaxation time where I really do nothing, but I know that my rewards will be vast if I just dedicate part of that time in prayer and delving into the word.
Posted by beth on January 15, 2010
I was chatting about my little problems with a friend on IM today. And while we were chatting I was multi-tasking and I read this and I stopped chatting and cried. And then, when I regained composure, I wrote to her, “I have no problems. Forget everything I just complained about.”
I am praying right now for Kristen and all of the people in Haiti. I simply can’t even fathom the devastation there and the extreme grief at the loss of so many. I am praying that the Lord can dispense a miraculous amount of comfort and healing.
Posted by beth on January 2, 2010
That really seems surreal.
I look forward to this year with renewed hope for a bright future. No, seriously, I do! 2009 was full of many challenges, tests, sorrows and learning. But, through all of those trials I really did come out of it a better, stronger and even more humble person.
I learned that no matter how difficult life can be, someone is facing bigger challenges. No matter how much despair I sometimes felt, I found a way to grab life by the horns and refuse to give up. I figured out that success for me last year wasn’t going to be expressed in pounds lost, or miles run (or walked, as it were) or dollars in my account, but rather success has been defined by how to get through each challenge with grace, humility and a greater sense of who I am and who I really aspire to be. It has been really freeing, as 2009 drew to a close, to more fully understand my role as a wife, mother, friend, and child of God. And, even more freeing to realize just how wonderful the journey is and how perfect really doesn’t exist.
So, in this new year, I am looking forward to continuing those lessons and making life richer and fuller. I’ve realized how inactivity really is damaging not only to my body, but my soul too. I’ll be hitting the gym or working in my house much more this year. I’ve realized how lack of organization and neatness brings on stress in quite a few areas of my life. I’m going to adapt and plan for getting more things done and keeping the house neater. I’ve realized how much I miss a structured quiet time. I know I’m not likely to do it every day, but I am going to map out a time at least 3 days a week. And, I’ve also learned just how much debt steals away from our confidence as a couple and how the stuff that our debt acquired provides us with very little joy in comparison to the stress it brings. So, our goal is to reduce our total debt by 1/3.
I am really and truly hopeful for all that 2010 is going to bring.
Posted by beth on December 29, 2009
I’ve missed you. And, I promise in the next week, I’ll be doing a round up of 2009 and a little planning and dreaming for 2010. =)
Posted by beth on November 23, 2009
Sometimes I get it into my head that I like baking. Even though pretty much every attempt that I make at baking fails, the nostalgia of baking with my mom and grandma takes over and I fool myself into thinking that I can bake and that it will be a stress free and effortless endeavor and that I will produce delicious and beautiful treats and my family will ooh and ahh and greedily gobble them up while praising my mad baking skills.
So, such a time happened a couple of weeks ago. A mother from school asked me if I would take pictures at Grandparent’s Day and I heard myself saying, “sure I would love to!!” and then, horror of all horrors, “do you need baked goods this year too?” and then, “I would love to provide two dozen cookies!!!”
Since that time I browsed through a few magazines which are filled with baked delights for the holidays, and set my mind on some browned butter iced sugar cookies. A very ambitious recipe because the cookies are rolled out, cut, baked AND iced. But, it’s as if I have some sort of brain short that doesn’t allow me to remember I can’t bake. And so, it never occurred to me that this might be challenging. All I could think about was how beautiful my handcrafted cookies would be and the little whispered comments from other moms at how it must be nice to be able to stay at home and turn out such wonderful delights as my cookies.
So, I told Lily that I was going to bake cookies. She loves to say COOOOOKIEEEEE often and here was the look on her face when I announced the glorious event:
And this was her reaction when I told her it was going to be awhile before she could eat any:
So, the first step is to brown the butter to a deep golden brown. After it is browned you let it cool in the mixing bowl.
It has the most amazing aroma. Nutty and rich. Once it has cooled a bit, you mix in sugar and vanilla:
and then three egg yolks and the dry ingredients.
And then disaster. I didn’t take any pictures of the dough because I was too busy panicking. It was crumbly and sandy in texture. The directions are telling me to gently knead the dough. Uh, WHAT?!?! Gentle isn’t going to do it. I try my best to get the dough to stick together. I wrestle it and desperately try to make it resemble a smooth dough that one could actually use a cookie cutter on with the rolling pin.
I managed, with many words of ill repute muttered under my breath, to get 9 cookies out of a lump of sandy dough that was supposed to make 32.
I dumped the rest of the gritty mess into the trash and hoped that the cookies that made it to the cookie sheet would at least be worth the trouble.
Guess not.
Sigh. I will be going to the store tomorrow to pay for two dozen cookies and then hanging my head in defeat.
Posted by beth on November 5, 2009
I just love it here. I really, really do.
Last week this time, we had 28 inches of snow.
And today it was 78 degrees, sunny and beautiful. We went for a lovely walk to the park (5 miles round trip!) and had fun gathering up some of the last remaining snow and throwing snowballs.
Learning….